PMQs as-it-happened
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11:20 Just over half an hour to go until the first prime minister’s questions of the new year. The most obvious option for today would be the loan guarantee scheme, which the Conservatives claim – with some limited justification – the government stole from them. If their leadership team managed to find any holes in Labour’s version of the scheme they will make the most of it today. There’s always Gaza, of course, but the Tories have little to gain by talking the subject, given they are basically on the same page as the government. The polls have been less kind to Gordon Brown since 2009 began so David Cameron may feel the wind is at his back. A good marker for how unsettled the prime minister gets is, rather cruelly, how much he stutters. If it happens more than twice, he’s getting nervous. On the other hand, its useful for him that Germany is about to follow his fiscal stimulus blueprint, giving him ample room to mock how much the Tories made out of critical German comments last year – expect much talk of how isolated Cameron is internationally.
11:59 The chamber is now full, and the prime minister will enter shortly. Really, it’s Lord Mandelson’s day, and Brown is just treading on his toes. He’s unveiled the loan guarantee scheme, he’s appeared in front of a committee, and been filmed doing it by the news channels, and he’s got his own mini-scandal concerning how he managed to buy a £2.5 million house by Regents Park. But the next half hour belongs to Gordon… or David.
12:02 Brown begins by naming the British troops killed in action over the new year. He mentions a meeting with French president Nicolas Sarkozy tonight, and one with German chancellor Angela Merkel tomorrow on coordinating responses to the economic crisis.
12:04 Brown appears confident and serious. Cameron’s up. “Planted question, copied policy,” he starts, referring to the previous question, from a Labour MP. He’s stuck the dagger in before even joining the prime minister in remembering British troops.
12:05 Cameron calls on Brown to admit it was wrong to have abolished boom and bust – it’s depressing that he’s still coming up with the same stale line of attack he employed last year. Brown promises he’s not following Tory policy, but then refers to a totally different aspect – cutting spending. Cameron, it goes without saying, was referring to the loan guarantee scheme. “It’s not a butler they need in Downing Street, it’s a phot6copier,” Cameron says. “Because he can’t be frank about the past he can’t be trusted in the future.”
12:07 A good question from Cameron. Does Brown stand by the government’s forecasts of when the economy will start growing again. Brown says it depends on what happens in the next few months internationally.
12:08 Cameron grabs his argument by the throat and makes a good little attack out of it. Darling made his insanely optimistic forecast on the basis of the VAT cut. The VAT cut didn’t work. Brown’s response does the rounds of Labour policies the Conservatives opposed, and then points to men like Norman Lamont who supported the VAT cut – “so the Conservative party is not exactly united on this.” He then cuts up the Tories a little with some references to their financial health. “£5 may not mean much to some of the men on the front bench opposite,” he says. Lovely.
12:11 Cameron points out no other countries have committed to such severe cuts on VAT. Beside him, George Osborne looks weird and sad – maybe it’s that interview Cameron gave the Sun where he said William Hague was his deputy. He slams Brown for throwing away a golden inheritance. Brown smiles. “Only he could smile” at that, Cameron says. He again calls for Brown to accept the VAT cut failed.
12:12 When Brown locks on an argument its like trying to prise a bulldog’s jaws open – he just won’t let go. He pursues the idea of Cameron being isolated with comments on American monetarists signing up to fiscal stimuli. Cameron calls him a “headless chicken” running around making pointless announcements. Brown calls for the Tories to wake up to an economic reality – and focuses on costing. They want a loan guarantee, but where’s the money? he implies.
12:15 Keith Vaz, the (sort of) leftie Labour MP whose been making a lot of noise recently over Prince Harry and Charles’ racial slurs stands up to discuss Sri Lanka.
12:15 Nick Clegg is up. “Taxpayers have already had to sink £37 billion into our banks,” he says. So today they will be worrying why they will now have to stump up more for a loan guarantee scheme. Clegg also implies Labour are stealing Tory ideas, and adds that he happens not to like the idea very much. In a piece of reasonable and decent populism, he calls for the government to just get tough on the banks instead.
12:17 Clegg wants to tell Brown what he should do, and the Commons erupts at his disrespect. He wants a part-nationalised bank to act as a state bank loaning money to British business. “I admire his certainty,” Brown says, in a way that’s not quite joking but definitely not serious. He stresses how much the government is monitoring the banks and what’s going on. He’s not convincing, and neither is Clegg. Oh, and neither is Cameron by the way. No changes for 2009.
12:19 Jeremy Corbyn- renegade Labour MP – calls Israel’s actions war crimes and wants Brown’s support. Brown makes sympathetic noises about the level of civilian deaths but he concentrates, of course, on a ceasefire, rather than actually criticising Israel. Muslim leaders say it’s this very nervousness in the government at explicitly criticising Israel that will one day bite us in the face with a terrorist strike by alienated and angry Muslims. Like it or not, they’re surely right. “We’re doing everything we can to make possible an immediate ceasefire,” Brown says.
12:21 Jack Straw, sat to the PM’s right, is impressively serene. He has a curious habit of keeping his eyes half shut and allowing a tenth of a smile to cross his face, giving an odd sense of calm – not something I’ve associated with politicians, nor even with Jack Straw. Brown is asked to promise a vote on any future expansion of Heathrow. He says the secretary of state will report his decision to parliament. It would then go to a planning inquiry.
12:23 Richard Bacon, a Tory MP, stands up to ask a question about the pork industry and his food labelling bill. He should have known better. MPs lose control over the hilarity of his name. “It’s an appropriate question from the aptly named member,” Brown says. He then lists off Labour policy on compassionate pig meat production, which I’ll spare you of.
12:25 Brown reiterates government policy on repossession, including a moratorium. Behind him, Jack Straw moves for the first time in a long time to toy with his hair and nod inappropriately.
12:26 – Alistair Darling looks like a man whose just swallowed something terrible and refuses to acknowledge it. MPs already start to leave while Brown answers a question on investment in infrastructure. Pointless questions to ask really, given its all he ever talks about.
12:28 Brown goes off on the philosophical differences between Labour and Tories – you’ve heard it before: Labour want to help, Tories are cruel men who want to do nothing. Brown is asked about an early general election. “I’ll say again there are no plans,” he replies.
12:29 – Brown on the car industry – there’s a shortage of cars, and a shortage of credit allowing people to buy cars. “It’s a detailed and technical question,” but the government is looking into it closely. Re-skilling will probably be involved. It’s one of those rare answers where we learnt something – you can tell by his tone they are drawing up a policy agenda as we speak.
12:30 A Bristol MP asks a painful question about how wonderful her city is and when he plans to come visit, which, in case you’re interested, will be “very soon”. And with that, PMQs ends, with Alan Duncan asking for an emergency statement from Lord Mandelson’s stand-in on the loan guarantee scheme. A draw today, I think. Anyone galvanised into political participation by either Cameron or Brown probably has deep seated psychological problems. See you next week.
